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ऐसे ही कहीं , एक काली रात में कोई रेप थोड़े ही हो जाता है !

December 29, 2012 at 2:06 pm · Filed under rape ·Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

तुम मर गयीं, चलो अच्छा हुआ ! वरना लोगों ने तुम्हे ज़िंदा लाश तो पहले ही कहना शुरू कर दिया था। तुम्हारे माँ – बाप को ‘बेचारे माँ – बाप’ का तमगा पहले ही नसीब हो चुका था। नेताओं को गाली देना, सरकार को दोषी ठहराना तो बस एक तरीका था अपने अपराध बोध को छुपाने का। राज की बात बताऊँ , तुम्हारी मौत का ज़िम्मेदार मैं ही हूँ। हाँ, मैं ! ऐसे ही कहीं , एक काली रात में कोई रेप थोड़े ही हो जाता है ! ये मेरी कायरता का नतीज़ा है कि तुम्हारा रेप हुआ और फिर ऐसा हमला कि  दुनिया का कोई डाक्टर तुम्हारा इलाज़ नहीं कर पाया।

अगर मुझ में ज़रा भी मर्दानगी होती तो मैंने तुम्हे बचपन में पिटते या गाली खाते हुए थोड़े ही देखा होता। अगर मुझ में ज़रा भी इंसानियत होती तो में उठ खडा होता उस हर हाथ के खिलाफ जिसने तुम्हे चोट पहुंचाने की कोशिश की थी। में लड़ता उस हर गाली के खिलाफ जो दोस्त-यार प्यार में एक दूसरे को देते हैं जिनमे एक दूसरे की  माँ – बहन **** कर मर्दानगी को सहलाया और दुलारा जाता है। अगर मुझ में मर्दानगी होती तो में चुप ना रहता जब भी मनोरंजन के नाम पर तुम्हे सरे बाज़ार खडा कर के तुम्हारी चोली, तुम्हारे सीने , तुम्हारे जलते बदन  और  तुम्हारी जवानी के चर्चे कर के  तुम्हे बदनाम किया जाता था।

मेरे DNA  के अन्दर ये नामर्दी कूट कूट कर भरी है और मैं  इस वजह से बेहद शर्मिन्दा हूँ, यही कारण है कि  मैं औरतो को दबा- धमका कर अपने मर्द होने का खोखला दावा पेश करता हूँ . लेकिन मौक़ा मिलते ही कभी , मन ही मन तो कभी सच- मुच  उनका बलात्कार कर देता हूँ ताकि  वो अपनी हदें ना भूलें।

क्या करूँ , मजबूर हूँ। मेरे अन्दर का जानवर, मेरे बस मैं नहीं रहता। माँ दुर्गा के चित्र जो आधा भैंसा और आधा आदमी दिखाई पड़ता है न, दरअसल मैं वही हूँ। मैं उस अन्दर के भैंसे को छिपा कर रखता हूँ इस दुनिया से लेकिन कभी कभी वो मेरे अन्दर से बाहर निकल आता है। कभी कभी तो वो तीन साल की बच्ची देख कर भी हुंकारे भरने लगता है और जब तक अपनी भूख मिटा न ले, शांत नहीं होता। 3 साल या 30 साल, मुझे तो बस एक ही चीज़ नज़र आती है।

तुम्हे क्या लगता है , ये मुझे अच्छा लगता है? नहीं! इसीलिए तो मैं मंदिरों के बाहर लम्बी लम्बी लाइन लगा कर अपने गुनाहों की क्षमा  माँगता हूँ , बार – बार आध्यात्म  की चादर ओढ़ कर अपने अन्दर के भैंसे को छुपाने की कोशिश करता हूँ।

मेरे सुधरने के तो कोई आसार नहीं है लेकिन तुम्हे क्या हो गया है। साडी के कई लपेटों में लिपटे -लिपटे, करवा-चौथ का खोखला व्रत रखते रखते, चूड़ी, बिछिया , सिन्दूर और बिंदी जैसे गुलामी प्रतीकों के नीचे दबे दबे, हम जैसे जानवरों के लिए खाना बनाते-  बनाते और उनकी हाँ मैं हाँ मिलाते , तुम भी भूल  गयी कि  तुम क्या हो?!

जब जब इंसान के अन्दर के जानवर ने  तुम पर ग़लत निगाह डाली है , वो सिर्फ तुम्हारी शक्ति से ही पराजित हुआ है।

याद करो,  उस आदमी के रूप में छिपे जानवर को मारने के लिए कोई भी आगे नहीं आ पाया था। सब पराजित हो चुके थे उस से लेकिन फिर तुमने  अकेले ही उस भैंसे का गला काट डाला। मेरा गला भी काट दो। मुझ को मुक्ति दे दो इस पाशविकता से, इस वहशीपने से। अब ये मेरे बर्दाश्त के बाहर है। बस , तुमसे ही उम्मीद है। तुम ही इस दुनिया को , इस समाज को फिर से भयमुक्त कर सकती हो। हम हारे हुए खड़े  हैं। अपने अपराध को छिपाने के लिए  इधर- उधर कौने ढूंढ रहे हैं , अपने नपुंसक क्रोध को इधर उधर उछाल रहे है लेकिन किसी से कुछ नहीं हो रहा। क्यों, क्योंकि हम उन्ही मैं से एक हैं  जिन्होंने उस रात एक अकेली लड़की का रेप किया था।

ऐसे ही कहीं , एक काली रात में कोई रेप थोड़े ही हो जाता है !

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Asaram Ashram, Kalyug 5000 and other controversies related to him- 2

August 12, 2008 at 8:18 am · Filed under animation, Asaram, asaram bapu, asaram kalyug, asaram kalyug 500, asaram movie, Asaram’s ashram, ashram, deaths in Asaram’s school, fraud, Graphics & Development, Guru, Hindu, History of India, india, kalyug 5000 asaram, kalyug 5000 movie, Maharashtra, narayan sai, Neeb karori Baba, Neem Karoli Baba, Rahul Mishra, Ramkrishna Paramhansa, sant asaram bapu, sant asaram's movie, sex, society, spiritual, Swami Vivekananda, Tantric, www.gesturegraphics.com ·Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lot of his followers is asking my why did I leave him. Here, I will tell you my story. Please visit the link below to see my earlier post on same subject and related comments.

My earlier post about Asaram disturbed ardent followers of him and I understand and respect their feelings. I would like to clarify that my purpose was not to hurt anybody’s sentimets and I wrote this personal blog just about my own experiences. If others are having a good experience with him and they are enjoying his company, I do  not tell them to follow my views.

I also want to tell these followers if you consider him and his son as God then why you become restless when you read one or two article against him? Your Guru has lacks of followers and if one of them like me do not agree with you, take it easy , my friend! I hope that these are not your most hidden insecurities.

As the time changes , everything changes. Rule of Jungle is not allowed anymore in this world so show me some patience and tolerance as I do in my writhing. Give rest to your conspiracy theories, there is no money , no foreign hand behind my article. As one follower said this article is all about my frustation. True friend, this is all about the frustration of the years, efforts and energy I wasted.

The fact is that I was also like you few years back and it was hard for me to hear the criticism of Asaram but I never choose to respond in violent manner as you people do.

Somebody cursed me that these are my bad deeds in past who forced me to leave Asaram but I do not want to talk about what I do not know. I am a man with brains which God has given to me as precious gift. How long  I could ignore what I see and hear? Sorry friends, I am not as good Guru Bhakt ( great disciple) as you. I already read in Ramkrishna Paramhans’s book that if you choose a wrong Guru, you should be ready to bear all his deeds.

OK, I would like to share with you what incidents forced me to leave Asaram as my Guru.

During listening to his discourse about some incidents, I felt it many times that what he , his son and other are talking is not true as I already had my own studies of scriptures and books. For example this one incident Mr. Kuldeep Bhardwaj wrote in comments of earlier post. He wrote that Vivekanada once drank spit, saliva, sputum of Ramkrishna Pramhansa to prove his devotion (Guru Bhakti). This is no true .  I have read “Ramkrishna Leelamrita” and “Ramkrisna Leela Prasang” , ” Vivekanada Literature” and other books related to his life not once but at least 50 times. I have never gone through an incident like this while reading these books. This is blatant lie. Vivekanda was most logical and  strong willed person of his time, he always had freedom to speak freely in front of Ramkrishna and was never afraid to speak his mind even if it means to contradict his guru. But Ramkrshna never threatened him that it will be bad if you open your mouth in front of his guru. The fact is that when “Ramkrishna” was on his death-bed, Vivekanda doubted him if he really is the supreme soul. Ramkrishna immediately looked into his eyes and told him that he should not doubt. ” One who came as Ram and Krishna before, comes as “Ramkrishna” this time. And this is not by the logic of Vedant.”

My friend the purpose of a Guru is to clear doubts of his disciples. If somebody says that do not doubt on what you see and hear and if you are doing so, you are insulting your analyzing and logical power which is given to you by GOD.

I request you to read some of Ramkrisna- Vivekanada stories published from Ramkrishna Mission to know more about their Guru- disciple relationship.

Yeah, when we are talking about Ramkrishna Mission , I would like to speak one more doubt which troubled me for years as Asaram disciple.

When Vivekanada became successful and got an opportunity to do something good for this world, he created an organization and named it ” Ramkrishna Mission”.  Asaram insists his followers to worship  theirs Guru ( Himself ) but he never built an Ashram on the name of his guru ” Shri Lilashah Mahraj ji”. All his Ashrams are called “Asaram Ashram” not ” Leela Shah Maharaj Ashram” .

In fact, I got a chance to visit the Ashram of ” Leelashah Mahraj” . This Ashram is in Nainital near Hanumangarhi Neeb Karori Baba’s Ashram. I saw that Master Leelashah’s ashram was in pathetic condition.

I do not want to comment further.

One more reason for my doubt was told to me by his ardent follower at my local place who donated his precious land to Asaram. I also contributed in his efforts with my articles in daily newspaper “Dainik Jagran”  but when the Ashram was built with money donated by followers, poor fellow was kicked out from there. He told me that he was threatened by the Ashram’s manager that he should not be seen nearby the Ashram. The follower who had considered him as his God once was shattered. If you want, I will give you the name of person and place for further clarification.

Last blow on my faith was  posters of  not so classic movie I saw in my city in year 2004. The movie was called ” Kalyug 5000″ and Bapu was there on the posters with the words, ” Everybody should  see this movie”.

I thought what the hell ???? ” What my Greatest God, my Guru, Absolute soul and Greatest truth is endorsing a C grade movie? Enough is enough. I quit, Guruji”

When I read the story of great saints like Shrdi Sai Baba, Swami Samarth, Ramkrishna, I realize that they all lived a simple life with least facilities. Their fame spread like  the smell of beautiful flower which is a natural process. It was never an organized movement like we see here.

In one of his Meditation camp in Ahemdabad in !997, he declared that he is even bigger than any incarnation because he is absolute soul. I wonder if he can make this claim so confidently after deaths of innocent children in his own Ashram. Where was his powers when his own followers and their children were having threat on their lives?

( I again clarify that this post is all about my personal experiences and  beliefs. If one choose to disagree, I understand but filthy , abusive and threatening laguage is simply not allowed)

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